Meeting the Indian Jungle
I believe I am one.. Except that I do say I love myself, but I am not I, myself and I? But enough about deep me -talk, over to what I want to share.
When I went to India, I was so excited, I was gone live in the jungle! At that time I had travelled a lot, seen a lot and experienced quite a few things so I felt so ready for the jungle (don´t underestimate the so´s in my text)!
When I arrived to the jungle with my two big luggages (way too much) – I was shocked! Everything was so orange, sandy and smelled so humid and of trees. I was met by so many beautiful people who later became my friends.When I was shown my hut – they told me how lucky I was to get that hut. I got a real tree-hut, my own tree-hut!! I have heard cheering sentences from my family and friends, but what I felt was emptiness. A cold, small, high hut in a tree? Okay, not-okay; you are a yogi and you love this. Great, keep on smiling!
I went to bed the same day and I swear all my clothes got dirty the same day. As the hut was also very dirty, but who cares about stuff? Every night I carried out a battle against the ants and spiders (btw – I never won!) who loved my madrass laying on the floor and the cold nights! I never want to complain and not then either, as it seemed everyone loved everything. 2 weeks later a mouse family started showing up in my room every night. They loved to poo all over my place and eat my oils. Now I was angry and crying. How could I as a yogi handle this in the best way?Along with all the spiders, frogs and snakes I saw all the time the naturish side of me was becoming less and less.I didn´t hate it during daytime, but during the nights – sometimes it was unbearable! I beat myself up about not handling it very well for a long time, because my mind went I should handle it – ” I just change my yogiperspective and I can love it!”. But it didn´t happen, even how hard I tried.
After some time I somehow realized that maybe I wasn´t suppose to love it, but hate it. That is how I could be present 24/7 with my feelings and came to face and deal with them. No matter where I turned there was an animal some less likable than others.
I usually live in a white, clean apartment in Norway – thats okay. I will not be 100% in love with the jungle and thats fine too. But I do know where to go to be fully present and in unease I don´t claim it to be a sunshine story but a time of my life where I grew stronger in so many fields only because I had to face myself every second and minute of every day for 3 months!
I am not sure what you can learn from this – but take a chance! Just do it 🙂